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Missing mail, love letters and keeping a clean house

If you aren’t ordering guns or multiple kilos of meth and things get a little sketchy, you’re probably pretty sure you aren’t waiting for a controlled delivery or a warrant over your quarter ounce of weed, a taser which looks like a flashlight, a couple of molly tablets or a gram of ketamine which, for one reason or another, has not materialized in your mail box. It could be that you got a love letter and you assume that’s the end of it, or maybe your product just didn’t arrive. Could’ve been a selective scammer vendor, if you didn’t have tracking. Could’ve been stolen out of the mail by a light fingered mail carrier, could’ve gotten lost in the postal system, take your pick. Or maybe, just maybe, someone’s putting together a case on you, which could take months. Even worse, maybe that screw up you made today is going to bring back on you years of being a bad boy from before.

Apologies in advance for my U.S. readers because once again, this piece, once again, doesn’t touch on the US at all, it concentrates on Australia – yet again, for the simple fact that they’ve been kind enough to tell us, in graphic, precise details, often with photos, all about how they do business – what they find, how its concealed, its all there. I would once again like to give a big shout out to the Australian Border Force (the new name for Australian Customs and Border Protection’s recent merger with the Department of Immigration and Citizenship – you will find me referring to this new ABF as Customs out of habit) for providing the majority of the source information on this article, and further, I dedicate this one to Michael Pezzullo, a former Australian Customs officer and brother of the then big boss of Australian Customs, whose sterling efforts in preventing the investigation of corrupt fellow officers allowed the very people tasked with the detection of illicit drug importations to instead facilitate untold quantities of drugs enter Australia for who knows how long.

Let’s start out with a wholesale example of how to get yourself caught. Starting in March of 2015 and ending in June, Australian Customs caught 10 different lots of goodies being sent into the country to one guy, from all sorts of places, like the U.S., China, Hong Kong and, of all places, Italy, The packages contained a wide array of prohibited imports, mostly related to gun parts. Believe it or not, a bb gun is the same as ‘cap you in the head, homie’, real gun as far as Australian laws are concerned. Anyway, the news release indicates these were all seized. Whilst it doesn’t happen every single time Customs makes a seizure, usually, at least in the first instance, you get letter sent by signed for mail saying ‘this stuff is a no no, we are seizing it, don’t do it again, you are a very bad man’.

Now, if you keep doing it over the course of three months, whether you were getting love letters or your mail simply wasn’t arriving, it would be reasonable to say you are not taking a rather substantial hint – and so when Customs and the state cops had had enough of this shit in June, they got a warrant, turned his place over, and found a supermarket worth of illegal shit, drugs, guns and 100 grand in cash, it probably shouldn’t have been an enormous surprise. Three months of concentrated stupidity is going to catch the attention of LE.

Should I be worried if a couple of months have passed and I haven’t heard anything? Well, the answer to that is, maybe. Within 2 days in early December of 2014, Customs catches two blank firing pistols being sent in to a guy in separate packages – again, Australian law as it is, they’re regarded as being the real deal – and decides to bide time, probably waiting to see if anything else comes through. This guy hears nothing about this until over two months later, at which point the Feds kick his door down and find a whole lot more illegal shit.

Will customs go for a dig back through your naughtiness if you happen to be caught with your hand in the cookie jar one time? You bet. Cut back to the early 2000s. Considering the domestic pricing combined with questionable quality of steroids in Australia, which are often homebrew concoctions bought from ‘underground labs’ owing to a limited capacity for diversion from the legal market, a couple of young guys decide they’re going to try their luck bringing it through the mail. Before there was the dark web and crypto currency, you could still always find steroids for sale online from places where steroids were either outright legit or quietly tolerated. It helped if you mixed things up with fake names and addresses, as well. So these two guys, they start importing around July 2008, and keep at it, about oh, say, 23 times, until they get a knock on the door in June, 2010, with a search warrant, not a love letter. There’s gear in the house, and forensically aware geniuses that they are, their computers yield all – the details of 11,450 tablets and vials of juice they bought over 2 years. Net result, 45 grand plus God knows what in legal fees down the tubes for these two, combined with that whole ‘being a convicted drug importer’ thing.

What’s the moral of the story as far as these two matters go? If you’re getting love letters or your mail is going missing wholesale, its probably best to find a new hobby, especially if your house looks like the inside of a police evidence locker already…. and if you don’t keep a clean house as far as your computers go, don’t be surprised if a mistake today revives years and years of badness, legally speaking.


  1. ” Or maybe, just maybe, someone’s putting together a case on you, which could take months. Even worse, maybe that screw up you made today is going to bring back on you years of being a bad boy from before.”

    That’s exactly what happened to me in 2013 with the fall of Silk Road, especially the last part in the quoted text was the worse factor for me :( If I had lived in the US I would have gotten 10+ years. But got away with high fines and a supervisor for 1 year. I have nothing against the US, but the laws are pretty fucked up when it comes to drugs, locking up relatively young people and rob them of what should be the best time in their life 18-30.

    Never assume you won’t get caught, instead assume that you WILL get caught! And work around that premise instead.

  2. I have really enjoyed the well thought out pieces written above. I am in the US and respect good advice meant for anyone. This game that we have to play only works if you stay smart.

  3. I lost maybe 3-4 drug packages three months ago without seizure letters. I’m pretty sure they’re “putting together the case” on me, from that point I’ve cleaned house and enforced caution on my behavioural mistakes (like taking money in public or speaking too much with people), hoping for the best in the future.

    Will I end up being caught or not? Time will tell.

  4. Well, how have things panned out?

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